OCD…The Game of Ping Pong

Note: The following is both a narrative that depicts a real-life journey of OCD recovery, as well as an exposure that aims to combat fears of criticism and perfectionist tendencies by intentionally making mistakes.
Hi I Am Rebecca and I have had OCD since I was in seventh grade. A lot has changed since thenhen I was 12 years old until now when I am 17 years old. Back then, I initially named my OCD monster Scrubbles. He was a furry angry blob with giant hands, representing that I had to always wash my hands for long periods of time and would avoid touching “contaminated” objects. Back then, While I was still in middle school, I drew for RFC a different picture where I was blowing scrubbles away along with dandelion tufts like RFC’s symbol.

At the time, my transformation was so drastic since I had gone from haveing meltdowns all thie time, constantly washing hands, and in a state of fear and anxiety. After working with RFC, I was abel to function fairy normally. Interestingly, my earily drawing blowing Scrubbles away showed how I felt about my ocd. After the peak of my OCD in 8^th grade, I thought I was completely free and through with it. However,  Overtime my OCD changed into different forms. This is a drawing featuring my evolved ocd monster called “ping pong. Ping Pong is named what he is because often I would get caught up in confusings thought patterns wonderin if a thought was ocd or if it was morally right or if I should or shoudn’t feel certain fealings of anger or guilt. The cycle would just keep going and I would feel very sressed out. My initial drawing of ping pong had him holding a ping pong padell that was a gavel as if to say “guilty” and my mind as the ping pong ball. Ping pong also tries too convince me that my work is never “purfect” enough, which can stress me out and make me feel like Im not good enough. But with more help from RFC, I am now a place where I can accept that ocd may always be in a ittle jar in the corner of my life, not even holding his hammer, but I can now observe it withiut it tripping me up and controlling my life